Top Ten Finishers

After much deliberation and tons of research (see: I was watching tv last night, got bored, and wrote up this list in ten minutes), I’ve decided on my ten favourite wrestling finishing moves of all time.

These are my favourites. I’m not saying they’re the best; they’re just the ones I like the most. Simplicity played a big part in determining which ten made the final cut. So without further ado:

10. Codebreaker

9. Ankle Lock

8. Tombstone Piledriver

7. Shooting Star Press

6. Stunner

5. Clothesline from Hell

4. Chokeslam

3. F-5

2. RKO

1. Spear


Music Questionnaire – My Responses


1. What music genre(s) do you listen to most frequently?
Metal. Specifically thrash metal.
2. Favourite band(s)/artist(s)?
Black Label Society, Megadeth, Slayer, Pantera, Stone Sour, Slipknot, Five Finger Death Punch, and Motorhead.
3. What is it about your favourite genre(s) that makes it/them appeal to you?
The harshness of it. The chaos. That’s why I prefer thrash metal to everything else. And the power, with all metal in general. It’s all balls-out, go as hard as you can ‘til you collapse, man. It’s fucking awesome.
4. What is it about your favourite band(s)/artist(s) that make it/them appeal to you?
See previous answer. Listen to a band like Pantera, or Slayer, or Megadeth, and you can hear it. It makes you move, man.
5. What’s more important to you: lyrical content or musical content?
Lyrical. Don’t get me wrong; the music, the beat, the instruments all play a huge part. But I’m a writer. Words are what do it for me.
6. Is there a particular vocal style you prefer?
Rough, growly, throaty. My top three vocalists of all time are Lemmy, Phil Anselmo, and Dave Mustaine, and they’re pretty much the definition of those three things.
7. What music genre(s) do you avoid (if any)? Why?
I generally avoid pop music. Not really my style. I’ve got nothing against it, and I don’t care if others listen to it. It’s just not, on the whole, something that appeals to me, music or lyric-wise.

The Metal Section:
*If your answers for any of the above questions apply to the ones in this section, just leave them blank*

1. Do you listen to metal?
Yes. Yes I do.
2. If yes, which sub-genres do you prefer and which do you avoid?
I prefer thrash, speed, alternative, groove (to an extent), tech death, progressive, and traditional heavy metal. I usually tend to avoid power metal, glam, folk, and symphonic metal.
3. Have you ever been either shunned from or accepted into a group due to your liking/disliking of metal music?
Not really. There are some online communities who tend to look down on you if you don’t listen to exactly what they listen to, but I try to avoid them.
4. Do the stereotypes attached to metal and its listeners (Satanism, violence, etc) play any part in your liking/disliking of metal? Why or why not?
Yes and no. No in the sense that I would never dislike a form of metal because of the stereotypes associated with it. I’ll even listen to Norwegian Black Metal and those idiots are mostly known for burning down churches and worshipping their idea of Satan. But yes in the sense that a part of me likes the stereotypical rebellion that walks hand in hand with metal. I’m not much of a rebel, but when I’m singing Slayer at the top of my lungs, I fucking feel like one. And that’s really appealing.
5. Have you ever snubbed anyone because of the metal sub-genre they like? Why?
No. I don’t give a fuck what people listen to. If you want to listen to power metal, do it. It’s not my scene, but I’m not the one listening to it, am I?
6. If you had to defend metal to somebody (assuming they believed only the stereotypically bad things about it), what would you say?
Don’t be a fucking idiot. It’s music, man. As much as it can make you feel, it’s just music. It can’t force you to worship the Devil or do drugs or kill somebody. If you do that, that’s on you, man. If you don’t like the music, if it doesn’t appeal to you musically or lyrically, then don’t listen to it. But don’t let dumbass stereotypes make that decision for you.

Just Because I’m Curious:

1. Favourite vocalist?
Lemmy, from Motorhead. Phil Anselmo, Dave Mustaine, Corey Taylor, Chuck Schuldiner, and Zakk Wylde are all up there too though.
2. Favourite guitarist?
Zakk Wylde, with honourable mention going to Kerry King, Dave Mustaine, and Dimebag,
3. Favourite drummer?
Dave Lombardo.
4. Favourite bassist?
Rex Brown.

*Anything else relevant can go here. Anything you want to say? Anything the questions didn’t cover? Anything important you think could help me out? This is the place to say it.*

Just this: musical taste is so incredibly subjective, man. Not only does it differ from person to person, but also within genres and bands themselves. There are bands out there that fall into genres I love, and yet I don’t like them. I like thrash/groove metal, but I don’t like Lamb of God. I can’t stand bands like System of a Down, Rammstein, and I dislike Anthrax, even though I’m a fan of a lot of bands that are stylistically similar to them. Shit’s crazy like that. What I’m trying to say, essentially, is I think it’s ridiculous that some people find it necessary to act like assholes to people who don’t listen to the same shit they do. Everybody’s different, we all like different things, and unless somebody kidnaps you, ties you down and forces you to listen to a band you don’t like, you should just accept it and be cool. I know people who listen to the bands I don’t like, and we somehow manage to get along. Imagine that.

My Top Ten Favourite WWE Entrance Themes

I was watching No Way Out, and while bored as fuck by that retarded Tuxedo match, I decided to make a list of my top ten favourite entrance themes. I struggled a bit to narrow it down to ten, since on my original list I came up with 12. But in the end, these are the ten I picked. They aren’t all current, and not all of the Superstars are even still with the company. But here you go.


10. Next Big Thing (Brock Lesnar)

9. Break the Walls Down (Chris Jericho)

8. Just Close Your Eyes (Christian)

7. Written in My Face (Sheamus)

6. I Walk Alone (Batista)

5. Metalingus (Edge)

4. Line in the Sand (Evolution)

3. Voices (Randy Orton)

2. The Game (Triple H)

1. Slow Chemical (Kane)

Drive: A Comparison

Recently, I watched the film Drive. I’d heard a lot about it from people—pretty much universally good—so I figured it was time. And I enjoyed it. The story was entertaining, the performances were intense, and the visuals were great. What’s not to like about that? But that made me want to read the book it was based on: “Drive” by James Sallis. Once I did, and saw the similarities and differences between the two, I decided I wanted to write a little bit about them. That’s what this is.

Warning: the following post contains spoilers for both the movie and book version of Drive. So, if you don’t want to know what happens, probably best to move on now.

Right off the start, I want to say that overall, I preferred the movie to the book. That’s important because anybody who reads knows that the book is generally better than the movie. It’s not a rule, but it might as well be. Ask anybody about pretty much any book-turned-movie, and you’ll probably get the same answer: The book was better. But in this case, I give the edge to the movie. Don’t get me wrong; the book is very good as well, but in a different way than the movie. The combination of visuals, acting, and story in the movie make it stand out.

The first, and probably largest difference between the two is the storyline. The movie is simple; it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. They are all exactly where you expect (and maybe want) them to be. The book is a little different. The story style is non-linear. Things happen out of order. It starts with the Blanche scene, right after she gets her head taken off with a shotgun, and then weaves in and out of the past with no real order to it. It’s an interesting style, and one that doesn’t always work. The remarkably short chapters in “Drive” allow it to work well, but it would be a different story if it was the same in the movie. I’m not saying it would have been impossible, but it would have been difficult. There would have been a huge possibility of confusion amongst viewers.

Characters. Even though the majority of the characters are essentially the same, there are some notable differences. Foremost, in my mind, is Bernie Rose. In the movie, he’s played by Albert Brooks, and is the partner of Nino. While the basic foundation of the character remains the same in both versions, with the book, you get a much deeper look into his life. You see a little more of his personality, a little more of why he is how he is. He’s tired of his life, tired of getting fucked over by Nino, and tired of Los Angeles. He’s a much more interesting character in the book, layered and with some depth to him. I like Albert Brooks, and I thought he did a good job in the movie, but movie Bernie just doesn’t compare to book Bernie.

Other than that, the character differences are fairly minor. In the book, the character of “Irene”, played by Carey Mulligan, is “Irina”. She’s essentially the same character, except she’s Latina. Shannon is still Driver’s mentor, but his role is much smaller in the book; he took Driver in, helped get him into the business, but was killed in a stunt gone wrong long before the main plotline of the story takes place. Standard is the same character, though in the book, the robbery he gets killed in has nothing to do with prison debt; he just wanted money.

The other main character difference comes in the way of secondary characters from the book who didn’t make the movie. Two come immediately to mind: Doc and Manny. In the book, Doc is an old man who sews Driver up whenever he fucks up (after he slices his arm up in the hotel attack scene). Manny is a writer friend of Driver’s who he talks to several times, sort of like a wise friend who gives advice. Neither were particularly central to the plot, so I can see why they were left out.

Several details were changed as well. I mentioned Standard’s different motives for the robbery that gets him killed. That robbery and the one that gets Driver in all the trouble (the one with Blanche) are not the same robbery in the book. The amount of money they end up with is less in the book). In the book, Driver’s first real violent action (not counting the first chapter, which takes place directly after he kills the two men in the hotel room), is when he finds a couple thug kids around his car and punches one in the throat with his key before they can jump him. The whole racecar plot point is absent from the book. The relationship between Irina and Driver is pretty much the same, but it’s a lot less developed in the book. It’s more mentioned in passing than anything else; no grocery store scene, no broken down car and rides home. Irina is killed accidently, right in front of Driver, and Benicio is shipped off to his grandparents. Cook is a low-rent thug in the book, and Driver kills him, not Bernie. The assassin from the elevator is absent in the book; instead, we get a kid who Driver catches and forces to jump off a second-story balcony. Nino’s death is less dramatic in the book; Driver simply shoots him when he comes out to collect his newspaper from his driveway in the morning. In the final scene in the book, Driver still kills Bernie, but is not injured in the fight.

Despite the similarities between Driver in the book and Driver in the movie, there are some fairly important differences. He’s more talkative in the book, more willing to initiate conversation with pretty much anyone. He’s also more prone to initiating violence, rather than reacting to it. In the movie, almost all of his kills are in self-defense. The only person he actively pursues and kills is Nino. In the book, he attacks/kills the kid standing by his car, and Junior (Bernie’s partner). He also actively stalks Nino and Bernie, staking out Nino’s restaurant and Bernie’s apartment, and playing mind games with both. The book, of course, also gives backstory, about Driver’s family, childhood, how he grew up, and how he ended up in LA.

In the end, story-wise, I give the edge to the book. There’s just so much more detail, and a lot of interesting character information that was not given (or was much reduced) in the movie. But the movie still comes out ahead because of the visual appeal and the acting performances.

Nino is an asshole. Ron Perlman plays a convincing asshole. It was a match made in asshole heaven.

Even though I preferred the book versions of both Bernie and Shannon, Albert Brookes and Bryan Cranston are talented actors, and I liked both of their characters. They were both vastly different from the book versions, but what they were was well-played.

It’s hard to argue with Christina Hendricks as Blanche, mostly because she’s smoking hot.

With Irina/Irene, I’m not really sure why they didn’t go with a Latina actress, but in the end, I don’t think it matters. I believed Driver was close to Carey Mulligan. She did a good job.

And we can’t forget about Ryan Gosling. Dude’s a good actor, charismatic. I think he did an excellent job. He really pulled off the switch between quiet, unassuming guy to ultra-violent killer when he had to. Nailed it, as it were.

And that’s pretty much it. In the end, we’re left with two pretty drastically different stories that share many common elements. Both are awesome and entertaining, in their own ways. The movie, in my opinion, is better. Maybe you feel differently. I don’t know; I don’t read minds. Either way, I recommend watching the movie and reading the book, as soon as you get a chance.


2012 MLB Season

I’m trying to be positive about the Blue Jays’ outlook this year. I really want to be excited about the team. But I just can’t do it.

They are having a great spring. There’s no arguing with that. They’ve been playing incredibly well in Grapefruit league play. As I write this, they have an .815 winning percentage. That’s leaps and bounds ahead of their closest competition. But years and years of watching baseball (and pretty much every other professional sport) has shown me that preseason numbers don’t mean shit when it comes to the regular season. In the preseason, you’ve got a bunch of minor league players giving absolutely everything they have in an effort to make the team. Every year, that inflates many teams preseason stats.

In my opinion, it actually benefits the teams that will probably be shitty in the regular season. The perrenial contenders have their rosters pretty well set before spring training ever kicks off. The minor leaguers know they probably aren’t making the team, so they don’t press nearly as hard. If you’re a first base prospect in Boston or New York, why bother? You’re not making the team. But in the weaker teams, the prospects know they’ve got a shot. They play as hard as they possibly can to try and make it. That gives a bump to those team, gives them a competitive advantage over the teams whose own minor league players are just there to fill spots when the major leaguers don’t feel like playing.

Obviously, I know it’s not just that simple. But that’s part of it, and it’s a major factor in why preseason numbers rarely have any relevance on the final standings in the regular season.

Back to the Jays, there are numerous reasons why I doubt they’ll finish higher than fourth in the AL East this year. For one, they are as good as Boston, New York, or Tampa. Personally, I think it’s possible for them to finish as high as third, but only if they have record-setting offensive output and Tampa’s pitching fails them completely. I doubt Boston will meltdown again like they did last year, and despite being old as dirt, the Yankees are the Yankees. They’re better than the Jays.

In the end, it comes down to the on-field product. I don’t think the Jays have done enough to field a competitive team. I think AA did his best to improve the team; I just don’t think it was enough.

From a pitching standpoint, I just don’t think they’re good enough. Romero is a solid pitcher. But he’s not an ace. He’s Shawn Marcum, version 2.0. Ideally, he slots in the two-hole, behind a real ace. Brandow Morrow is similar. He throws heat, but if he’s off, he gets lit up. He’s like a young A.J. Burnett. I know nobody wants to hear that, not even me, but they’re very comparable. Brett Cecil is about as inconsistent as it gets. Alvarez and Drabek have a shitton of potential, but they’re young. And McGowan is trying to come back from injuries that should have ended his career. There’s no way to know how he’ll hold up.

The bullpen is the same. They shored it up a bit, but still. Who’s their closer? Sergio Santos? He blew six saves last year. Cordero’s not getting any younger. The rest of them haven’t been able to do shit up to this point; why should we think they’ll be able to get it done this time?

For the position players, it’s as simple as looking at each position and seeing how the Jays’ stack up against divisional rivals. At catcher, if Arencibia can mirror last year’s performance, I give the Jays’ the edge at that position. At least offensively. Defensively, Arencebia isn’t great. He isn’t the worst, but he’s not the best.

First base, no. With Tex and Gonzalez in the division, they aren’t even close. At the moment, I don’t even know who their fucking first baseman is. Is it Adam Lind? He’s a DH at best. Realistically, the Jays are probably dead last in the division at first. I’m not sure who Tampa and Baltimore have there, but it can’t be much worse than the Jays.

Same thing with second base. Kelly Johnson? Fuck that guy. He can occasionally put up decent numbers, but he’s streaky as hell. And even his best numbers weren’t great. It’s a crapshoot, at best.

And that’s all I really need to say. When you go into a season with no clear-cut first or second basemen, you’re screwed. But I’ll go on, just so I can actually talk about the Jays’ high points.

Yunel Escobar at short is decent. He’s probably not tops in the division, but he’s solid, consistent, and not a defensive liability. I’ll take it.

Third base. Brett Lawrie. A bright spot for the Jays. The kid’s got potential and intensity coming out his ass. Statistically, he’s one of the weakest third basemen in the division, but he could easily be one of the best before too long. Obviously, I’m biased, but watching him play, there’s nothing in his game that I think could hold him back to being equal with Evan Longoria before too long.

The only other bright spot for the Jays is, of course, Jose Bautista. Regardless of where they play him, the guy hits like a fucking truck. I don’t need to say much more about him. Any guy who gives you 40+ HR and 100+ RBI is a good thing.

The rest of the outfielders are a bunch of prospects and guys known for their fielding/base-running. Sure, Thames or Schnieder could have breakout years, offensively, and nail down one of those positions. Or they could do what they’ve been doing and routinely float between the Majors and Triple-A ball. It’s impossible to tell.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I think the Jays are doomed, once again. Too much unknown. They have skilled players, good prospects, but they’d all need to come together at the right time, and in a major way, to make any kind of meaningful impact. There’s too much left to chance, and that rarely, if ever, works out well.

Plus, I think their pitching sucks.


My Favourite Bands

I was bored, and it’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything on here, so I decided I’d write a little bit about my favourite bands. So I’m going to list my five favourite bands and talk a little bit about why I like them and why you should listen to them.

5. Stone Sour – What can I say about this band? They fucking rock. Definitely more alternative metal/hard rock than my usual thrash/heavy metal, but no less awesome. Corey Taylor is a talented singer and lyricist, which he never gets enough credit for in regards to his more well-known band. I’ve yet to hear a Stone Sour song I dislike; even the slower ones are great. Audio Secrecy was one of the best albums of 2010, by far. Very relatable lyrics, which is a big thing for me. But I could say that about all three of their albums. Come What(ever) May was a solid album, with a lot of quality tunes on it (not just ‘Through Glass’), and their self-titled album will always be a favourite of mine.

Favourite Songs: Orchids, Inhale, Bother, Tumult, Omega, The Wicked, Kill Everybody, Come What(ever) May, Hell & Consequences, Reborn, Socio, Suffer, Say You’ll Haunt Me, Dying, Unfinished, Hate Not Gone, Anna.

4. Megadeth – Despite being one of the Big 4 of thrash metal, Megadeth gets a lot of flak. There are too many metalheads who just dismiss them because of Risk and Cryptic Writings. I’ll agree that those albums were less than satisfying, from a thrash metal perspective. But that doesn’t take away from what they’ve done and some of the fucking great music they’ve given us. Killing Is My Business, Peace Sells, and Rust In Peace are three quintessential thrash albums. Not to mention their last four albums. The System Has Failed, United Abominations, and Endgame were all solid efforts, with a lot of kick-ass tunes on them. And then there’s 13. Top three, maybe top two among 2011 releases, in my opinion. If you’re one of the people who didn’t like it, I suggest listening to it again. And again. And again. Until the all the stupid is blasted out of you.

Aside from all that, the major kick a lot of people seem to have against Megadeth comes down to Dave Mustaine. People complain about his voice, his political and religious views, and his generally asshole-ish personality. To the people who talk about the politics and the douchiness, I say screw that. It’s the music, man. Fuck that other shit. I don’t care how much of a dick an artist is; if the music’s good, that’s all that matters. As for his voice, that’s all down to personal preference. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. I’m not forcing anybody to listen to Mustaine. In my opinion, however, his voice is perfect for metal. For me, metal, especially thrash metal, has always been about chaos. I want it to be rough-edged and guttural, not polished and melodic. There are other genres that provide that sound.

Favourite Songs: Rattlehead, These Boots, Wake Up Dead, Peace Sells, In My Darkest Hour, Five Magics, Poison Was the Cure, Symphony of Destruction, This Was My Life, A Tout le Monde, Blood of Heroes, Family Tree, I Thought I Knew It All, Victory, Trust, Almost Honest, I’ll Get Even, 1000 Times Goodbye, Dread and the Fugitive Mind, Die Dead Enough, The Scorpion, Something That I’m Not, Truth Be Told, Of Mice and Men, Washington Is Next!, Never Walk Alone… A Call to Arms, Play For Blood, 44 Minutes, Bodies, The Hardest Part of Letting Go… Seal With A Kiss, Head Crusher, How the Story Ends, The Right to Go Insane, Sudden Death, Public Enemy No. 1, We the People, Black Swan, Wrecker, Deadly Nightshade, 13.

3. Slayer – I don’t think I have to say much about Slayer. They’ve been one of the most consistently brutal bands over the last 30 years. They are thrash metal. Simple as that. Lyrically, musically, and everything else. Tom Araya is a brilliant singer, and Kerry King is possibly the most metal person who has ever existed. That’s it.

Favourite Songs: Die By the Sword, Show No Mercy, Hell Awaits, At Dawn They Sleep, Angel of Death, Criminally Insane, Raining Blood, South of Heaven, Behind the Crooked Cross, Mandatory Suicide, Spill the Blood, War Ensemble, Spirit In Black, Born of Fire, Seasons In the Abyss, Overt Enemy, Perversions of Pain, Scrum, Disciple, God Send Death, Exile, Here Comes the Pain, Addict, Payback, Eyes of the Insane, Jihad, World Painted Blood, Hate Worldwide, Playing With Dolls.

2. Pantera – And yes, I never thought I’d say that. Pantera has been my favourite band for the better part of a decade now. But they’ve recently been bumped down to number two. It’s only by a hair; more like one a and one b. But still.

Now, many of the reasons I stated with the previous bands ring true for why Pantera is near the top of my list. Lyrically, musically, and in the general attitude department, Pantera is metal. Phil Anselmo is the number one metal singer in my books. That will never change. Dimebag was one of the best guitarists of all time; the solo on Floods is damn near perfect. Rex Brown is one of the best bassists I’ve ever heard. And Vinnie Paul is a monster on the drums. I’m Broken is possibly my favourite song of all time (it’s in a fight with Cemetery Gates and Motorhead’s Ace of Spades).

Favourite Songs: Cowboys From Hell, Cemetery Gates, Domination, The Sleep, Mouth For War, Walk, Fucking Hostile, This Love, Regular People (Conceit), Hollow, Strength Beyond Strength, 5 Minutes Alone, I’m Broken, Good Friends and A Bottle of Pills, 25 Years, Shedding Skin, Drag the Waters, 10’s, 13 Steps to Nowhere, Suicide Note Pt. 1, Floods, Goddamn Electric, Yesterday Don’t Mean Shit, Revolution Is My Name, Death Rattle, I’ll Cast A Shadow.

1. Black Label Society – Great band. I don’t really have much else to say. Zakk Wylde’s credentials as a guitarist speak for themselves. There isn’t a BLS song I don’t like, and every album is better than the last. And considering how fucking awesome the first one was, that’s really saying something. This is a band I recommend everybody listen to. I don’t care what you listen to; Black Label Society should have a spot on your playlist.

Favourite Songs: Bored to Tears, Hey You (Batch of Lies), World of Trouble, All For You, 13 Years of Grief, Rust, Counterfeit God, Ain’t Life Grand, Just Killing Time, Stronger Than Death, Bleed For Me, Bridge to Cross, Graveyard Disciples, Lost Heaven, Stillborn, Funeral Bell, Destruction Overdrive, Blackened Waters, We Live No More, Dead Meadow, Crazy or High, Queen of Sorrow, Steppin’ Stone, Won’t Find It Here, Damage Is Done, Layne, No Other, Once More, Fear, What’s In You, In This River, Say What You Will, Been A Long Time, Dirt On the Grave, Blacked Out World, The Last Goodbye, Hell Is High, Sick of It All, Blood Is Thicker Than Water, Parade of the Dead, Godspeed Hellbound, Time Waits For No One.

So that’s it. My top five favourite bands. There are a shitton of other bands I think kick serious ass, but for this list, there could only be five. Check them out.


I Don’t Get It

First off, I’d like to explain just what I’m talking about.

Recently, it was discovered that former New Orleans Saints defensive co-ordinator Gregg Williams used a bounty system with his defensive players that payed out money for game-ending hits on targeted players (a.k.a. the opposing team’s star players). The whole situation is a little more complex than that, but that’s the basic gist.

Now, I would like to say this: I understand why the NFL is looking into this. It is against the rules for players to be paid for in-game achievements. You can’t pay a guy for intercepting a pass. He’s already paid to play. And you can’t pay a guy for taking Tom Brady’s head off in the second quarter. So, this whole bounty thing is against the rules and I applaud the NFL for sticking to the rulebook. They should enforce the rules, otherwise what’s the point in having them?

What I don’t get is why this has blown up into such a big thing. I know player safety has become a hot topic in recent years, but come on. Are people stupid? This is fucking football, man. All they do is try to hurt each other. Whether a player is getting paid a “bounty” to take somebody out of the game or not, they’re going to try to do it.

You think Ray Lewis goes out on the field thinking “I’m am going to play it safe and make sure nobody gets hurt”? Of course not. He goes out there, looks at whatever quarterback he’s playing against that day and thinks “I’m gonna take this fucker’s head off”. Sure, he doesn’t want to literally kill the guy. But he does want to injure him. He wants his team to win, and if that means giving a guy a concussion or breaking an ankle, that’s what he’ll do. Gladly.

Or Ndamukong Suh. That guy is, in my opinion, the meanest player in the NFL right now. You think he doesn’t go out intending to injure? If you do, you need to check your head, my friend.

It’s the same for all the players. I named two guys who are known as tough, mean dudes, but it goes for pretty much any defensive player. And most of the offensive ones. If you get a chance to really hurt another team’s player, you take it. Because it gives your team a better opportunity to win. And that’s what you’re paid to do. To win.

If you really think about it, most defensive players are paid legitimately for the same thing. Obviously, there’s more to playing defense than just hurting people. But how do the real big name defenders rise to prominence? How do they make a name for themselves? Not by grabbing onto a guy’s jersey and holding him down. That’s for fucking sure. They get the fame, and the huge contracts, for dealing out punishment, punishment that frequently leaves the opposing players with broken bones and concussions. They get reputations as ferocious defenders, which gets them big money on their next contract. And what do you think all that money is going to them for? To be the same player, the same mean guy who wants to take opposing players right the fuck out of the game.

I’m not going to bother going into the fan appreciation angle of this story either. We all know how everybody says they hate to see a player get carried off the field. The fucking announcers say that same line every time it happens. But we all know it’s bullshit. Maybe the fans feel bad when it happens, but that’s just because they were screaming for blood two seconds earlier.

So, I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? That’s what I’m asking. Is everybody really so surprised? Is the idea that players want to hurt each other really so foreign?

Football may be a game, but the players, coaches, and various co-ordinators play to win. They want every advantage, and if they need to break a few rules, spend a few bucks under the table to get them, that’s what they’ll do.

Winning brings glory. Winning brings fame. Winning brings pleasure. Winning brings money. So the players try to hurt each other, bounty or no, because they want. They want it all, and a broken leg here or a dislocated shoulder there can get them a little closer to having it.

It’s not shocking. It’s common fucking sense.