The Blue Jays Stealing Signs

A piece I wrote when this “story” first broke last summer.


When I saw the article about this on today, I laughed. You know, the Jays probably are stealing signs. Every team steals signs. It’s a part of baseball. Any advantage you can give yourself you do. Anybody who doesn’t believe that is a fucking moron.

And it really doesn’t matter, in the end. The Jays are 28-27 at home this season. One game over .500. You know what that means? It mean they suck at stealing signs. If they were any good at it, they’d hit the ball more and win more fucking games. They have three guys hitting over 300 at the moment; one of those has only played four games, and the other’s average is dropping like a rock.

The best part of this story is that the Yankees and the Red Sox are two of the teams who were specifically named as teams that were “concerned” about this shit. Are you fucking kidding me? We’re 14 and 11.5 games back from the division lead and in the wild card race, respectively. We haven’t even played in a post-season game since ‘93. Calm the fuck down. We’re not catching you, even if you give us a list of every pitch you’re going to make before you make it.

It just all seems so stupid to me.

And I could sit here and badmouth the Yanks and the Sox, bring up the players they have, and have had over the years, who’ve been accused to doing steriods. That’s cheating, last time I checked. But I’m not going to do that, because I don’t care. It’s all about winning. You do what you’ve got to do.

As a fan, I don’t care if the Jays cheat. In fact, I want them to cheat. We haven’t made the payoffs since 1993. Fucking 1993. That’s fucking crazy. I turned three two days before the last playoff game they played. Three. I’m almost 21 now. So I say cheat. Do whatever the fuck you have to do to win. Steal signs, do steroids, beat up opposing players before the game. Smoke crack and dance around the dugout in your boxers. I don’t give a fuck. Do whatever you need to do. Just win.

That’s all I got.


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