A Thought About Writing

A piece I wrote a few weeks ago, when I was bored.


I was sitting here, in front of my computer, just listening to music earlier today. In my head, I was going over future scenes I wanted to get to in my story, South of Heaven. It’s weird, but after nearly two years working on it, I feel like I’m just finally starting to get to the good parts (aka the scenes that I orginally imagined, the ones that made me want to write the damn thing in the first place). 12 chapters in; I probably should have reached this stage sooner, but whatever. It’s my story and I’ll go as slow or fast as I fucking want.

Anyways, I was thinking about it, about what I wanted to do with it and where I want the plot/characters to go. I’ve got a lot of shit planned, and it’s all a big process at this point. Sorting out what goes where and what I have to do to get there.

As I was doing that, I started wondering what would happen if I got hit by a bus tomorrow. Some freak accident, and I was gone. My story would never get finished. And that pissed me off.

I could have probably just focused on thinking about my own death and how fucked up that is, wondering what would happen if I died. But instead, I was just angry. I very much dislike the idea of starting a story and never finishing it. I always have. I figure that’s probably why I haven’t taken down the fanfiction I started six years ago and haven’t worked on since. As long as they’re still up, I can tell myself I’ll get back to them someday.

And it’s not really an audience thing either. It’s about me. Don’t get me wrong; I appreciate all the people who read South of Heaven. But in all honesty, I don’t do it for them. I do it for me. I have a story to tell, you know; I hope it entertains people, I really do. But in the end, if it doesn’t, tough shit. It entertains me.

So it all comes back to me. I wouldn’t want my story to just lie there, untouched. I would want somebody to pick up the ball and run with it, so to speak. Not because of the readers and how much (or little) they might want an ending. Not to give readers closure or bullshit like that. But because I don’t want it to not have an ending. Because I can’t stand the thought of leaving it unfinished. It pisses me off right now, thinking about it as I write this.

What’s the solution? I don’t know. I don’t plan to up and die anytime soon, so I think it’s pretty much a non-issue. But I thought about it anyway.

If I could choose, I would want someone I know to continue it. Someone familiar with my characters, my plots, my style (even if it irritates them from time to time). I don’t want to go into a whole thing about doing it justice; I think that would make me sound like a pretentious fucktard. Everybody’s writing style is different; I would expect differences, you know, but I’d want the… I don’t fucking know, the spirit or some shit like that, to be the same. I would want someone who is going to try their best to finish it, even if it takes forever. Cuz I can understand that, given my own updating style.

There really are only two options. Two fellow writers who know me and are familiar enough with my writing to do it. And I believe only one of them could pull it off.

I considered a few others, like Emily, Matt, and Toni, but there are very valid reasons why they just wouldn’t be right (note that I didn’t consider willingness to do it a factor in this haha).

Emily is familiar with my writing, but her own style is a little too experimental in comparison to my stuff. I like straightforward concepts and action in my stories, and as talented as she is, I just don’t think she could keep it close enough. I know I said difference would be all right, but I just envision it being entirely different. A whole new story. And that’s not what I would want.

Toni knows South of Heaven as well, and her style is closer to mine than Emily’s is, but I’ve talked less about it with her than I have with others. There are things I have planned, certain plot points and scenes I’ve envisioned and would wish to have included, and I just don’t think she’d see them the same way I do. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I just think the feeling behind the scene, what the author thinks about certain things, shape how the words turn out and the outcome with her behind the wheel would be quite different from how it is with me.

Matt got consideration simply because we share a certain fondness for swearing and violence, both of which are very big parts of the story. I think he could do quite well with South of Heaven, but he’s just too unfamiliar with it.

So in the end, it came down to Rachael and Sarah. And it would have to be Sarah.

She’s more familiar with the story and me than anybody save for Rachael. She knows the characters, has actually written for Kane before, and loves the gore and violence just as much as I do. I trust her to not turn it into something it isn’t. Pretty simple.

As for Rachael, anybody who knows her and has read pretty much anything I’ve ever written knows why that just wouldn’t work. I think she’d give it a really good shot, but I just swear and kill at a rate she isn’t comfortable with.

So, yeah, that’s my long post about what I would want to happen with South of Heaven were I to die in a freak accident. Somewhat morbid, I think, but why not just say it? Like I said, I don’t plan to die for a very, very long time, so don’t take this too seriously. Just something that came to mind and gave me food for thought for about an hour or so.


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